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Friday, October 16, 2009
Sky's a little grey
The sky is a little grey today.

What should I say. Even though I am fine with another year, I can't say I am not the least bit upset. After all this hard work, improvements weren't seen at all, instead things went down.

"Not the lowest please, please, not the lowest, please..."

but my heart shattered the minute I counted to the first page of Chem. And for that moment, I couldn't fathom what was happening. Why was it happening? How could it happen? I prepared a month for it, and even thought it was ok. That moment, I couldn't help it, and started tearing up, trying to keep it inside, trying not to let people see, trying to believe it was ok to fall. again.
It was like forcing a cap to cover a bursting bottle, but eventually, i managed, even though there were occasions when I thought I couldn't hold it in anymore. I don't know how long this cap will hold, but it should be fine after a while. I just feel sorry towards my expectations, as well as my parents. I am sorry Daddy, I really am. And thank you for your support right till this very moment, even after my results. I have really tried, but I don't understand why it turned out like this. Maths was an accident this time, Bio I really have nothing to say because I blanked out during it, but Chem. My whole heart went into it, and it came back in smithereens. Results, cca-- everything just does not seem to go ideally, no matter how much work put in.

So I ask fate

why is it that hard work rarely pays off?
why is it that falls happen so often?
why, must it all turn out like that?

I am a little tired. Just a little.

The sky is really grey today.

Princess last waltzed through at 20:19