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Friday, January 30, 2009
Competition(real fierce)
A series of unfortunate events.

That's what happened to me, unfortunately. Chance always catches me when I least expect it. So what's left now is a glimmer of hope-- for my appeal to succeed. The chances are small, no doubt, and I know there's no room for self-doubt, but I really cannot help it.

Was woken up this morning at 6.40 or so by a flurry of smses by my friends, who all wanted to know where i was going. And in between all thoses smses, I saw the one that decided where I was going. In my groggy state, I opened it without thinking and skipped past my name straight to the JC name, eyes searching, and I got a rude shock. The same sinking feeling like I was dropping into a bottomless pit came back again, it's familiarity sorely unwelcomed. It felt just like this year's(sorry, last year i mean, i'm still living in 2008) bad news regarding our teachers' day concert dance. But the counter feeling of sheer gritted determination was just as strong. First thing i thought of was the word "shit".Really you know, that was the most apt word to describe that moment. Sent my eyes from -.- to 0.0 in a split second. Totally unexpected you can say. And once again, it dropped out of the bag which I thought I had it in. I was still dreaming about going to SA a while ago, and there it was, plain and blatant, screaming itself at me. Of course, my sleep was ruined. Dang. Things just won't go the way I want it won't they? As if I haven't learnt the lesson that plans change, and one should never be too sure. Thank you very much. I learnt it. I know it. And I will forever remember it. But damn it. I must learn to see the silver lining in the dark clouds i think. Better this than that i guess.BUT I WON'T GIVE UP THAT GLIMMER OF HOPE.-clutches tightly-

It's expectations versus disappointment, and this time I am gearing up for the disappointments no matter what, because I want the expectations.

Princess last waltzed through at 15:17